Studies show that women who have children under the age of 5 are the most likely to report having little interest in sex. New mothers also worry that they are no longer seen as attractive to their partner. Lives change after having children. On average, parents experience a decrease in sexual frequency.
Lack of sleep and busy schedules make it difficult to even think about sex. Your sex life will change if you suffer from high levels of stress. Chronic stress affects your health in many ways, including having sex with your partner. You could be working long hours, traveling and too tired to be intimate with your partner when you come home.
If your busy lifestyle is affecting your sexual relationship, you need to carve out time for intimacy dates or scheduling vacations together. This can help you to re-establish the closeness and sexual desire you had with your partner.
Speaking with a therapist also helps you to learn how to control your stress. Taking multiple prescription medications can cause sexual dysfunction.
There are side effects when you take certain kinds of medication. Pick a time and place when you are both at ease and stress-free. Talk about it when you have all the time and space to talk about it. Maybe plan a quiet night at home — alone. Or if you have kids, get them to bed early. And no need for getting angry. Just speak from your point of view, your feelings and your experience. It may not be easy for your partner to hear, so be prepared to be met with anything from agreement to anger to excuses to sadness.
Really listen. Let your partner know you hear him or her. This is a conversation, not an argument. Assure your partner you love them and you want your relationship and your sex life to be the very best it can be and that is the one and only reason you are bringing it up. This might be one conversation. It might be a series of conversations.
In many ways, the best place to start is the very beginning. Think about where you started. Think about how your sex life progressed. Think about what used to draw you to one another so much that you could hardly keep your hands off each other. In fact, it would be great if it were more about the slow burn and less like checking off the boxes. One of the best things you can do is set limits. On the second week, think making out but not going all the way.
Yes, it may sound silly. Fool around. Tease one another. On the third week, set aside some actual time to be together. No being quiet because the kids are there. No rushing. Bust out the toys tomorrow. Breaking out of your routine with a creative date night axe throwing, bowling, hitting an escape room can bring back the quality time needed to get those lusty feelings flowing again. Throw an intimate massage into the mix, dedicate a night to a spicy makeout, or try mutual masturbation.
Everyone and their grandma is busy. The daily grind can be soul-sucking and libido-crushing. It doesn't have to feel like an annoying to-do. Embrace your inner Dora and change up the environment. Try taking sex outside the bedroom—or even your house—and see what happens.
You know how sometimes it takes a change in scenery to feel more productive at work? The same goes for your love life, too. It's hard to have a popping sex life when you have no one to get rowdy with duh. But if that's you—and you're wanting to break through your dry spell which, just guessing, you do, if you're reading this — consider if you're really doing enough to put yourself out there. Have you fallen off the dating bandwagon, and if so, was that on purpose or by accident?
Have you been putting effort into meeting new people, or holing yourself up on frigid Saturday nights? Are you putting out good, open-hearted vibes or focusing on neggy ones, like feeling envious of all the engagements popping up on your Instagram feed?
These are all questions to ask to help you pinpoint next and obvious moves. On the other hand, if you don't like having sex outside of an exclusive relationship or situationship and you just haven't found the right person to enter into one with, then consider your dry spell evidence of your commitment to your standards.
In that case, your "rut" is actually more like a "timeout," so try to reframe it as a positive thing. Which brings me to my next point Yep, taking matters into your own hands literally counts as breaking out of your dry spell. Taking initiative is always applauded, right? Masturbating could also give you the mojo you might be missing to meet someone new, since orgasms help slash stress thanks to the release of oxytocin , regardless of where read: who they come from.
Back to that stress thing—it's a sex-life saboteur, whether you're single or not.
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