As an only child, it all comes down to me. We have a guide to coping with grief and anxiety here. A friend who recently visited me at home marveled at how much attention I still get from my parents. Yes, it can be intense. But the bottom line? We put together a guide to working out whether you have a normal relationship with your parents. People have limited views on only children that have gone unchallenged for a long enough time.
Whichever developmental experiences we may miss out on from having siblings in the home, we can find from our peer group. No family is drama-free, however many siblings you have. We all have to cope in different ways and develop different personal attributes as a result. Locke is a health and wellness writer with a passion for avocado toast, morning yoga, and sunset runs.
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Would I trade all the advantages in return for a sibling? Yes, actually. I will probably benefit from the independence it has given me but it can get quite lonely sometimes. It would have been nice to have someone around. Mia Denny, 11, lives with her mum and dad in Northwest London. I have always wanted a brother.
When I asked my parents if I could have a brother, they said they are too old — and that even though the idea may be nice, when you actually get one you might fight a lot and change your mind. I think being an only child makes you think more. When people are with their brothers or sisters, they often just follow what they think. I have two cousins who are really special to me. They are like my little brother and sister — but I can send them home again when they get annoying!
His parents are divorced. I like having a laugh with my friends. It can be a bit lonely. I think it was harder when Dad left as there was one less person around, so it was much quieter. I was eight and being an only child made it a bit worse. Instead, I was very quiet about it. In the end, a teacher arranged for me to have sessions with a counsellor as I needed to let my feelings out. Our dog Spike can never sit still, so I take him for walks.
I was a little concerned in the beginning that my son needed a direct sibling. Now I feel light years better about it. What really counts is that the parents be happy and content with the decision they make, because that will affect how they raise that child. First, there are countless advantages for an only-child family. An only child often gets a home with less disruption and arguments—some studies suggest young siblings fight every 10 minutes — and most importantly, that increasingly vital tool of knowing how to be independent and alone.
For parents, the potential advantages are huge, but touchy subjects. She bucked other stereotypes in the s, when she had me, to be a multidimensional woman. She was the breadwinner in my family and pursued her teaching career.
Without her doing this, or in other words with me having a brother or a sister, I think my life and hers would have been limited in so many ways. I have to admit, it gets tough as you age. Depending on the relationship you have with your parents, this can be a blessing—no arguments with a sibling over care decisions—or feel like burden. I catch myself fantasizing some days about having a sibling to help, but realize cousins, neighbours, family friends and Angela have all stepped in.
Another downside is that an only child can easily feel overwhelmed with familial intensity. That said, living with other people at university was a real culture shock. At Durham though, learning to live with other people in mundane domesticity was painful. One housemate would come into my room when I was out and raid my wardrobe, trying on clothes and discarding them on the floor afterwards.
When I asked her about it, she seemed surprised that this would bother me. So I eventually learned to live with it. After all, who was I to argue?
I remember being genuinely amazed at how many people are incapable of spending time on their own. I was perfectly happy spending hours on end reading and playing on my own and by playing I mean organising my toys in my own unique version of fun.
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