Based on tragic cases I have observed first hand, where someone came to me after being given poor advice by another relationship coach, a friend, or their own conclusion, when you ignore your ex, it rarely ends up with the two of you getting back together. In the video above I discuss some things you could say in response and I go into much greater detail in my Emergency Breakup Kit which I highly suggest you get if you want your ex back and want to keep them!
July 23, September 17, June 29, September 17, May 21, September 17, Coach Lee helps people get their ex back after a breakup. He developed The Emergency Breakup Kit , a powerful guide to winning back an ex. Skip to content. What do you think? Hey there, if your ex is genuine about working on himself then maybe he will reach out to you when he is feeling better.
The most important thing that you need to do is work on yourself during your No Contact, make sure that you show your ex that you are doing well, if he is on social media make sure that you are active and positive.
We met in December, became friends and officially started dating end March for 5 months, during which we also went through a 2 month lockdown. Did no contact for 1 month during which he continued to watch every single Insta-story of mine. After the1 month, I had a hand written card delivered vetted by all my friends to not be over-emotional etc. BUT this is where I felt a shift, suddenly his behaviour after this day started to give me the impression he was miserable. He was glued to his phone watching, and saw all of our stories within minutes.
I posted a Insta on the Tuesday after the weekend 1. This entire process was really draining me and I thought to leave it till he messages again now? Hi Daniella, I would suggest that you do not ask to meet up again, take a step back to the texting phase as you do not want to ask him again considering he has said no twice.
You need to understand that as much as things get tough this program cannot be rushed. Each stage is all about your ex investing time into texting you, talking on the phone and going on to meeting up with you on their grounds, thinking it was their idea.
So I have a very complicated situation-I been in 3 year committed relationship with someone after being alone for 10 years. He was married twice-first marriage ended because his wife cheated on him multiple times and he is in the process of a second divorce that ended due to a controlling wife. Although there were a few incidents when we were socially out where he showed he had insecurities around other men looking at me.
I assured him I understood his insecurities and would assist him in working in them as they were probably a result of his first marriage and assured him that I would never do anything to hurt him- as he is an amazing man to me. Recently he placed an audio recorder in my garage without me knowing and accused me of engaging in sexual activities in the garage with a worker from a auto part business next door-just from little noises he was hearing on the recorder.
When I asked him to let me hear the recordings, he said he threw them away because he was having a hard time listening to them. I explained to him that the allegations were false as I respect myself, my daughters and my body to ever do anything like that and I have been truly committed to him for the last 3 years.
We eventually got back together for a whole month but I felt like I was walking on eggshells with him. I offered to go with him to see a therapist, go before a priest to confess that I was not guilty and even would take a polygraph test and he refused. He once again, put another voice recorder in my garage and once again accused me of the same allegations but this time kept the audio for evidence.
I listened to the audio and there is nothing on there that sounds like sexual activity but surrounding noises from the garage.
At this point, I went to get a polygraph test. I invited him to attend the test and he never showed up. He still has his mind convinced that I am and have been involved with this supposedly guy from next door, which is untrue. I have only been committed to him for the last 3 years and no one else. He asked me to leave him alone and not come near his house and has changed his phone number.
A week ago he continued to text me while still accusing me of the same accusations and at the same time confessing his love for me. I have committed myself to the no contact but there is a part of me that would still love for him to come back. I broke up with my ex a couple of months ago, and regretted my decision. So I told him that i wanted to try again. But then he was unsure of what he wanted, but we eventually agreed to try again.
But then he told me he still was unsure, and we broke up for real. I told him that I would delete him on social media, og didnt want contact. I realize that that is a bad idea.
I have not contacted him in three weeks because I think it must come from him, but know im thinking that i have messed things up too much by telling him that i didnt want contact ect. We were together for several years, and had a good relationship. Should i continue no contact and hope for the best? Hey Elise, I would say yes to completing your NC and then start reaching out to your ex after 30 days if you still want to try and get them back. Tomorrow is his bday.
Kindly help. If you are not broken up then, yes wish him a Happy Birthday, but keep the conversation short and do not speak about your relationship.
What can I do? My boyfriend and I met each other and within two weeks we were official. It was his choice and I went along with it because I saw potential. We spent every day together for almost three months and he even brought up multiple times moving in together and even driving to a chapel to get married.
Everyone around me said he was head over heels for me, his friends, his family, my family. We started having little arguments because I would get an attitude and pick a fight. I truly felt like he would never walk away.
And that we should not be arguing this much this early. A week after the breakup we met up and had a long discussion which I thought would result in getting back together but it did not but I stayed the night with him anyway. I went a bit unhinged and called and texted the next day that I would like to never see him again and that I want all my stuff. He said no and that I was acting crazy.
I have not heard back from him nor have I reached out since. Making Your Ex Boyfriend Jealous. Success Stories. The No Contact Rule. The Podcast. What Your Ex Says Vs. What They Really Mean. By Chris Seiter Updated on February 7th, Take the quiz.
What to Read Next. The week he broke up with me the second time he called but I did not answer. So why did I decide to respond? After reading this blog. But I know what we shared. Of course I am super wiser, And yes I am still hurting. But I felt responding is the positive thing to do whether he realizes his big mistake and is kicking himself in the rear smile and wants me back or not.
And yes, I will move on. I could hate him, wish the worst for him, but that does not do any good for my growth in this situation. It took me about 10 days to decide to reply not reciprocating the feelings, but agreeing that the trip was nice with fond memories, and hoping all is well with him.
I do miss him, but this man broke my heart twice, I cannot open up to him again that easily, and certainly not via email. Maybe the next contact from him will be a phone call. Life goes on for me, I have some moments when I think of him but I am healing with each passing day. I chose not to be dragged into his need for validation. Hi there. Would you reply to selfies or direct Instagram stories? All he sends me are selfies and stories.
Not even text messages, and he probably sends these to multiple people. How do I even respond to a selfie? Thank you. My ex contacted me last night 3 weeks into no contact. What do you think the reason for this reach out was? My ex said some nasty things when I last saw her. I told her she should only reach out if she wants to work things out. Why did I make things so awkward, how is she going to wish me merry Christmas, happy bday etc. She went on to apologize for something particularly nasty she said when I saw her last.
I felt like I had said and done everything I could which made me feel replying would reduce my worth even further and validate some very cold things she had said only four days earlier.
Continue with no contact and let things unfold on their own. Your ex is responsible for reaching out in case she changes her mind. I then went no contact and within a day I had a call but I left it as it would have hurt. So I called back we spoke and I kept it very cheerful and happy never mentioned anything personal or about us. Call ended nicely too. The only way he will see a happy moved on version of me is by speaking to me.
I am trying to move on as I have little hope to get back together but it would be nice if this did happen. Any thoughts please. Dear Zan, my ex suddenly called ten days ago, after three months of no contact.
I missed the call because I was texting someone and was not quick enough to answer. I did not call him back because I was afraid to look desperate. He has not called again. Did I make a mistake not calling him back? Kind regards.
And today his mother called me all of a sudden after all those months of no contact. I answered the call, not realizing it was her.
She asked me how I was. I sounded relaxed, told her I was doing fine. I did not ask about my ex and got off the phone quickly. Great article, my ex an I broke up a year ago, he was the dumpee shortly after moving to a new country. A month after the breakup he would come to visit me atleast once a week, without any romance. Since a year there has not been more than 7 days where i have not seen him, he comes to my house we cook, talk and watch tv, again without romance.
He is not from this country neither am I, I am choosing to leave the country in two months, because the progress into romance was taking a bit longer, i also find it difficult to be in a small city seeing him with other guys.
He is in Maldives on vacation this week, but texts me every 3 days. Im not sure why he wants to keep me in his life without committing, i am getting bored of the situation, because life is too short. Today i wanted to ignore his text, but then read your article, i am a true believer in karma and putting things in the world that you want to attract. I am due to leave back to the country where we met, where i was born at the end of January, not sure what will have between that time.
Hi Zan. This article has me wonder if I made a mistake. I went NC with my ex this Feb, after a split last Dec. Then her birthday came. More internet memes appeared and I could tell she was angered by this. A few weeks later she blocked me. Should I have picked up the phone. Is my not reacting to these similar to ignoring a call? I suspect pride.
Prior to my going NC I asked her why she never rang me. It seemed almost defiant and perhaps childish. I actually sent her a card two minths ago wishing her well in a career move. Not sending her a birthday card really made me feel awful.
It was 11 years. The only animosity between us post split seems to have been caused by reaction to NC. I toy with just sending her a message asking her how the new job is. If she wanted to talk to you badly enough, she would have messaged you by now. Hey Zan! My ex and I work at the same place, at a hospital. She was a nurse assigned to the Operating Room while I was an I. She broke up with me 3 months ago. I did some post break up mistakes but decided to do no contact indefinitely.
After 3 weeks going NC, she showed to where I was working, I was surprised and assumed she was getting something in there. We both made eye contact but I ignored her not because I want to, but because I did not know how to respond and just walk away thinking she was still mad at me. One of my co-workers approach her and she gave my pictures on him that was still on her.
After thinking fully through it a day, I decided to tell her friend if we could talk because I was block in all platforms. Her friend just told me that she did not say anything after she told her. Im thinking it must be some kind of breadcrumbs from her but really cant figure it out. Do I try to continue NC or message her? Wait for her to contact you directly.
Most people may say and a couple of my friends did say that he was thinking about me, which is true- unless he butt texted me, he would of had to think about me first in order to text me. However, I do not feel the need to respond. So, while I do not usually ignore people, and I never ignored my ex, I feel compelled to ignore him, at least for now for my own protection and to help me to continue to heal.
You, as in anyone that reads this, need to put your emotional and mental health first, not what your ex may think. If you can truly be friends later on then he should be able to understand that. As a dumpee, you should always protect yourself. I broke up with my girlfriend one and half months ago. I was affected by her decision of dumping me so I confronted her and in return I got Blocked. So I went into no contact like I had a choice.
But I ignored her. She probably will unless she chooses to respect herself. But now I need some advice and hope you can help me. My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for two.
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